Me in 2010 vs me now

Me in 2010, and me now.

I was planning on writing a longish piece on my feelings around how HRT and transitioning has changed me as a person, how I am not the person I was before transitioning. I’ve cut that blog post down quite a bit. Actually, I’ve pretty much thrown it away and you’ve been left with this, instead.

If the sensation of being a different person is something you’re going through and find distressing, it may help to know that I felt less alien and more grounded a few months after the sensation began. I can still recognise that I feel and behave differently to pre-transition me, but the feeling of being different no longer continuously sits with me. I no longer feel sorrow that a part of me, the me who desperately wanted to / needed to transition, hasn’t survived to see this through and to find some kind of happiness. The emotions which for many months felt texturally different and strange now feel like they are my own emotions, and I can no longer quite remember how the old versions of them felt.

I have become familiar to myself. I have become me.

I like who I have become: I am more interactive and social. I am happier. I look forward to living as myself. I look forward to the next year of HRT, and the next year of being Connie.